New Year, New Blog - Day 44

Day 44. 

I'm not really feeling like I want to write a blog today. We went to book our holiday to America and I have until Thursday to decide if I can go. I had to leave the travel agents to get some fresh air half way through. I do want to go to see family and I know I'll have a great time, but I can't get on a plane. There is nothing that will make me get on a plane. I think I've developed a nervous twitch over the past few weeks while I've been thinking about the decision. Everytime I think about being on a plane, I see myself looking out over the left wing and its a long way down and I know there is nothing holding the plane up. Lots of people have said that I have more chance of dying in a car crash or out riding my bike. That might be well and true but at least I would feel somewhat in control of that situation should it come about. On a plane, there is nothing I could do about it should it go wrong. The thought of falling uncontrollably is stopping me and there is nothing else I can think of when I think of getting on a plane and flying. My fear of flying will ruin my life. 

Until tomorrow.

Jim